Hopefully not a bitter diatribe

Just some random thoughts and feelings; hopefully it doesn't turn out to be a bitter diatribe.

So this issue with my wrist has become more of an ordeal than I thought/planned. I had to cut my hours way back at work, which is good and bad at the same time. Good because, well, I'm lazy and totally proud of it :) But bad because my checks are going straight to two different savings accounts, one of which was for a trip to Disneyland for Christmas. Not sure that that is going to happen now. Not to mention it is VERY difficult to cut hair with the cast on.
The first day I had my cast thing on and only worked a couple of hours, I was kind of excited when I got home thinking: "Sweet! I can just work on my hobbies and be useless!" I flopped on the couch and pulled out my cross stitch then realized, oh wait. Can't cross stitch. Oh well, I have my friend Stefs' unfinished afghan to work on. Oh wait. Can't crochet. So then I thought, ok. Nice excuse to sit and play Star Wars Legos. Oh wait, can't hold or use the remote. ARRRG! Didn't really feel like reading, so I cleaned for a while until it started to hurt and then I realized I probably shouldn't be cleaning. So there was just one thing left to do.... "Lord of the Rings" marathon!!!!! :) I'm fairly certain I've watched poor Boromir die 100 times; not to mention I have most of his lines memorized....Nerd.

When I went to the Doctor for my wrist they wanted to do some x-rays. The doctor asked, "any chance you could be pregnant?" I had to laugh. "Um, no, I'm not" And thinking thanks for the reminder. Then a nurse walked me into the x-ray room and asked the same question. Trying not to get angry because, you know, how is she supposed to know my situation? Then the x-ray tech came in and asked "any chance you could be pregnant?" Me: "Nope. Not a chance in hell."

Which brings me to my next rant: My doctor decided to have me try 3 months of a newer fertility drug. It basically does the same thing as clomid but without the emotional side effects. I haven't noticed anything horrible these past two months; my stomach turns over on occassion but nothing like the-devil-clomid. After that, my Doc tells me they have to get more "aggressive" and go to a fertility specialist. The next step in the process is usually IVF (In-vitro). But from what I've read about it, it is not sounding too fun. One has to take all these hormones to help your body do in 3 days what it does in 3 weeks naturally. I'll have Scott lock me up in a padded cell.

Today in Relief Society we had a lesson on adversity. I needed it. I really don't want to get bitter and have been successful thus far. I know that 18 months is nothing compared to some couples, but sorry. That still doesn't make me feel better. I suppose I'm extremely self-centered. It's difficult to deal with an unanswered prayer that seems like a righteous desire. I know that if/when it does happen, we'll look back and say, "Oh yeah. This or that was the reason we needed to wait. But again, that doesn't fill the hole. The baby thing isn't constantly on my mind; I make sure of that. But every now and then I get subtle or not-so-subtle reminders of it and then I get sad.

Probably the hardest thing to deal with right now is the PCOS. According to the barrage of tests, the endometriosis isn't even an issue right now. Endo usually clogs things and gets in the way. I'm totally clear. It's the PCOS that is keeping me from it. I mean, seriously. This stupid thing has taken my thick hair away from me, my clear skin, and my figure, and has the potential to keep me from having biological children. It's a right nasty piece of work!!!

Anyway, all really is well. After purging my mind of thoughts and feelings (which I think is essential) I have to stop and count my many blessings. I also had a wonderful blessing from my dear father-in-law that filled me with renewed hope.

Back to LOTR now....

More Random Updates

My mom and Scott singing.
One of my very favorite Sunday evening activities growing up was sitting with my mom at the piano and singing. For the past several years I've taken to skipping the singing and just flopping on the couch and listening to Mom play. I remember about a month before I left on my mission I was listening to my Mom playing the piano and I teared up. I realized that would be one thing I'd miss most while gone. I love hearing her play her own arrangments of "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" and "Can't Help Lovin' That Man".


Thursday: Lunch with the girls. Annika and her daughter Keila, Breanne, Courtney and her daughter Ava, Me, Erin and her daughter Ellie. Good food, good company!

2 Years

Today is our 2 year anniversary. We celebrated last week by going to the temple, going to "Joseph" at the Scera, and then going golfing Saturday. (why celebrate just one day?) Scott is thrilled that I've decided to take up golf and he is very entertained with me.

There's a new Brad Paisley song called "I thought I loved you then" and we love it. I definitely share the sentiment. The above picture was taken 2 years ago today, and I didn't think it was possible for me to love Scott any more than I did then. Boy was I wrong! I find myself loving him more and more all the time. He is a wonderful friend and hubby. Here's to more and more years together!

The Rest of our Yellowstone Pics

Scott out golfing one morning. My parent's condo was right on the golf course. I decided not to go because a) I'm not at all good yet and b) it would have taken us all day to play 9 holes.

Lower Falls and the Canyon of the Yellowstone.

Upper Falls

Mom and Scott

Us at a little pond in Norris Geyser Basin

Firehole River Falls (are you noticing a pattern??? Lots of waterfalls!!!)

These pics are in reverse order...oops. Anyway, this buffalo was walking smack in the middle of the lane, not allowing anyone to pass him. We laughed so hard at the line of cars there was behind him. I guess he wanted everyone to know that it was HIS road.

Old Faithful: Which actually isn't so faithful anymore. With all the plates shifting all the time and a recent earthquake it goes off every 90 minutes now and sometimes it doesn't go very high.

Standing in the Firehole river.

Loved the little flowers growing between the pines.

various bacteria and little organisms that make cool colors.

My cute hubby.

Took this at a wonderful little Mom and Pop type diner. To the side of my mother was a table of rough, drinking men. Somehow, they (INCLUDING my Mom) got into a conversation about football. I turned to Scott and said, "Only my mother could sit and talk football with a bunch of redneck, complete strangers."

First Wave of Yellowstone Pics

We had so much fun on our trip! My parent's condo in Island Park is right on the golf course and SO gorgeous. I didn't do my hair or make up for 5 days and LOVED it :)
Grandpa Shoell died on Monday, so that phone call really upset us, but we were still able to enjoy the rest of our trip. We'll miss Grandpa sooo much. He was the sweetest and most fun man. But now he's with our Heavenly Father and he doesn't have to suffer anymore. Love you Grandpa!
These are pictures from our phones from the last couple days of our trip. Our camera is still with my parents in the park, so we'll post those later. (these are out of order too :P )
Me and Bambi at Yellowstone's Bear World

Scott and Bambi

Firehole River Falls in YNP

Big Elk in Bear World

Tower Falls in YNP

Brown bear in Bear World

Bear World has to be the coolest place ever. The bears just hang out near your car and occasionaly come and stand up with their paws on the bumper of the car and bounce...

Baby bears at Bear World. Scott had to pull me away. I could sit and watch those little darlings all day long!

Baby Black bear at Bear World

Buffalo hanging out on the side of the road in YNP

Lower Falls Outlook in YNP

Looking down on Lower Falls in YNP. The hike back up the canyon is a bear but it's worth it to stand at the top of the waterfall :)

Me and my cute hubby in YNP