When one reads something sensational one should have some chocolate. Don't you think? I'll wait while you go find goodies to chew on while you're reading.
Go ahead, I'll wait.
On my new favorite TV show, "Breaking In", the crew goes back to high school briefly to help a kid with a bully. So classic. But it really got me thinking! Then the Brad Paisley song "Letter to Me" came to my mind, and I thought: I'm going to write a letter to me. Now, I can't say I'd really like to go back to high school, but at the same time, if I knew what I know now it would be a much better experience. So here it goes:
Oh! P.S. this might include stuff you just don't want to know about me. You've been warned!
Dear Younger Self,Here's some clues and tips into your life. I know you - you probably won't listen because you're a proud, insecure and snobby little thing. But really - if you take some notice your life might be just a bit easier! Here's a list of things I'd like us, err, me to know:
Ok, you've lost a bunch of weight; good girl! But seriously, don't do the bulimic thing. It ruins your stomach for life.
While you make some great friends this summer before high school, don't waste your time with Chadd. Seriously. I know he's a senior and so dreamy and all that, but once you're 16 and no longer "off limits" he'll drop you faster than a hot potato. But hang on to the rest of the group. They're good friends.
You need help. Please, for our sake, don't wait until you're a senior to get on Zoloft. You're miserably tired all the time and so unhappy because you're depressed. Now, I realize these were the days that being depressed was very taboo and people didn't think it was a real thing. You know, eat a carrot and you'll feel better. But it IS real and nothing to be ashamed of. It is what it is so for the sake of our grades, come on! Go to the Dr.Towards the middle of your sophomore year you're going to blow out your knee and need surgery. Just so you know, your stupid biology teacher is going to flunk you because you miss some class. DON'T let him get away with it! You'll find your senior year that if you'd talked to a school counselor about it the situation could have been handled without you having to do BYU independent studies and almost NOT GRADUATING!! Just a head's up.
Oh - and for heaven's sake buy something for us when you go to Europe. You remember how we didn't buy any kind of a souvenir for ourselves when you went to Italy? Dummy. Don't buy anything for Greg because you're going to break up with him soon afterwards anyway.
And while we're on the subject of boys, I know that a particular boyfriend becomes a big part of your life, but please PLEASE don't date the same dude through most of high school. I can't tell you how much FUN we have once he leaves on his mission. And if you'd followed the previous advice about Zoloft you probably wouldn't do it anyway!!
You REALLY need to not worry about what people think of you. Why are you so insecure? You've got a great little size 6 body. Trust me (us?) when you're trying on your wedding dresses several years from now you're going to talk to yourself in the mirror and say, "Wow. I thought I was fat back then. Yeah...I'm an idiot." You also have a great singing voice, and our hair is so long and thick!!! Enjoy it while you've got it because we can no longer grow out our hair because it's so thin :( At the time of writing this letter I've probably got another 8 or so years, if we're lucky, before we're wearing a wig. No, I'm not joking. DON'T chop it off!!!!!!! You'll regret it and the only reason you cut it in the first place is because someone who is a so-called-friend makes a stupid comment. Ignore them. Oh - and ignore the idiot boys in Chamber Choir your Junior year. Choir is your happy place and you can't let what's-their-names (see how unimportant they are? I really can't remember their names!) ruin your experience because they say mean things. Stick to your friends in choir (including Trish/Mrs. Garrett) and just enjoy yourself! Trust me, you'll miss choir.
And speaking of singing, try out for the other school musicals. That's what you LOVE to do and won't ever have the body or the voice for it again so take advantage. You know that so-called friend that made the stupid comment about your hair? She'll make stupid comments about you liking to do plays too. Seriously - IGNORE her. You want to do the plays, you like it. Yes, some of the people are a little extreme but you get along with a lot of them and have a lot in common.
FYI : George Lucas is going to make prequels to the "Star Wars" series. You'll get to go to the midnight showing of Episode I, so take a NAP before you go so we don't miss half of the film because we're falling asleep. Oh, and take one of your guy friends that really wants to go and not whats-his-name who doesn't really care.
And while we're on the nerd subject, embrace your inner nerd. Seriously. Once you do you're a lot happier so you might as well get on with it. Remember: who cares what other people think!! Do your thing. You'll find those friends that love and accept you embrace the nerd-side too!
For the love of everything that's holy, take more concurrent enrollment classes. And while you're at it, don't drop math class in H.S. just because you can. Your college self will hate you.
Oh - and let's be smarter with our money, shall we? Good plan. You want more than anything to move out and be independent, so DO IT! Take the leap. You're stronger than you think you are. You can still go ahead and buy that car (I know right? We buy our own car after high school!) but don't open a bunch of store charges just because you can. That makes the apartment thing go out the window and your awesome credit score go bye-bye.
Some notes to my post-high school self:
DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT let Dr. Lawrence give you Depo-Provera injections. That's what starts the weight gain vortex.
DON'T quit writing!! You LOVE it and just because one stupid professor doesn't like your style, remember all the others that love your style??? Just sing that as-yet-unreleased Silo song, "and I'm like forget yoooou" to Professor whats-his-name. Trust me. We have two unfinished, potentially cool, novels.
You're going to go on an adventure through 10 foot snow drifts to meet actor Sean Bean. When you finally do get to meet him (yeah, you read that right. You meet him face-to-face!!) don't stand there like a cod fish with your mouth open!!! Say something charming and funny and ask him for a picture!!! Your camera is right there. In your purse. And you'll never get another shot at it so ask Stef (your friend that's with you. I know, it's confusing, her name is Stefani too.) to take a picture of the two of you. And who knows? If you're charming enough maybe you'll have yourself a secret love-child with him....errr.....never mind.
Oh - and get a prescription of Busperone before you go on your mission. (Yes, you go. Crazy right?) You'll be able to stay out a lot longer if you're properly medicated.
And when you get home, DO NOT date a manipulative little twirp named Tyson. RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!! And don't push away your bestest friends because you're embarrassed for being sent home from your mission. It's that depression thing again! You'd think we'd have learned by now!
Love,
Me.
P.S. When the Timpanogos Singles Branch is organized, you'll notice a particular tall, dark haired, skinny guy with a GORGEOUS smile but don't make a move. Trust me, make the move when you first notice him. It'll save you both a lot of heartache and time. This good-looking skinny nerd of a guy will be the best thing that'll ever happen to you and you'll spend the rest of your life wondering how you got so blessed and lucky to have him.
