Good Day

I usually mentally check-out of Mother's Day but I had a really good day. We taught our class, made dinner for my mom and visited with family.






The little angel on the left we've had for a while; we got it to represent our first baby we lost. We thought this was perfect because the little puppy she's holding looks just like Chewy ;) Then Scott bought me the little boy angel and gave it to me Mother's Day to represent our 2nd angel baby. I cried a little when I opened it, but I'm so glad to have both of our little angel's represented!

Oh Yeah - I have a blog!

I've been totally MIA in the blogisphere for a while!  So here's a little picture catch up!

I know no one else cares about Chewy but I'm posting these anyway.  Nana was sitting reading the paper and the Demon-Dog came and about scared her half to death.  It was great.

 Scott and I took Lincoln and Lleyten to see the Muppet movie over Thanksgiving break.  They wanted pictures with Obi Wan so Scott lifted them up to get their little heads in the hole.  So cute.

 Elder Brian Carey came home from his mission right before Christmas.  So fun to have him home!  I still can't believe I have TWO return missionary nephews now.  I'm old.

 Scott tinkering with one of his train sets.  This is what he does on breaks from school.  I bought him the engineer hat for Christmas and he faithfully wears it whenever he gets his trains out.  I love that I'm married to an over sized kid. 

 Got us all jammie pants for Christmas (except Scott who refuses to wear them).  So we had to take pics - and darling little McCoy in his Darth Vader jammies!  Love that kid. 

And in other news....

The adoption process is just that: a process.  An emotional, annoying, maddening process.  I'm sure once we get placement we'll be able to add joyous and other good adjectives in there but right now it's just work. 
We took a small break from it in November/ December when the Lord decided to test our faith - with a really unexpected and positive result.  No - I'm not pregnant.  I'll just throw that out there right now so no one gets their hopes up ;) 
It all started one night in November when Scott and I were discussing what we needed to do the next day - one of which was pay the $1000 initial fee to LDS Family Services.  Suddenly I just kept having this feeling that we needed to wait.  I told Scott and he shrugged and said "okay".  The next day I was cleaning the house and thinking how weird it was that I had the impression to wait when I got a complete bombshell impression:  Try one more IUI.
No. 
No way.
I've closed that door.  We felt SO strongly about adoption.
No.
I had this nice internal argument on all the reasons why I refuse to do that.  But the impression kept coming and I couldn't deny it.  I called Scott and told him and got a "Where did THAT come from?"   I fought it and fought it and cried and cried.  That fertility door was closed for me and it's such an emotional and painful thing I just couldn't do it.  I just wanted to know WHY.  Why was I being asked to do something so painful again?  Get our hopes up again and heaven forbid lose another baby? 
After a couple of weeks of fighting  it, Scott brought up a good point; a statement that will define the rest of our lives:  Well, when we ignore promptings we end up in Texas.
After we got done laughing, I realized he was right.  So in December we started on the devil fertility meds; the specialist up in Sandy ordered a bunch more tests - some we'd already done but whatever- then we did the insemination. 
And then we started to get excited.
I mean, why would we be asked to do it if it wasn't going to work, right? 
And then came all the awesome side-effects of fertility meds.  My assistant manager at work even sent me home early because I was an absolute *$#2&.  And after snapping at Scott a few times and not letting him near me he said, "Oh yeah - this is why we don't do fertility anymore." 
Well, I was late and we started to get even more excited and then quickly found out it didn't take and we were devastated again.  Then we started discussing everything and praying and we realized: this was a confirmation to us that we were on the right path with adoption.  There was still that little hope in the very backs of our brains that we'd get pregnant while filling out paperwork.  But our hearts and our brains are now turned to adoption and we know that it's the right path and choice for us.  It's taken us a while - everyone has to go through the process in their own way and get their own answers.  We wanted to be sure and 100% on board before we moved ahead with it.  I've tried and prayed and tried some more to not be bitter.  I wanted to be able to hold my head up and be okay with things.  That doesn't mean that every now and then it doesn't hurt a little.  That doesn't mean that as I'm filling out the mammoth adoption questionnaire that I don't get annoyed at the complete social injustice of the thing.  But I can laugh when my Dr. says a 3% of conceiving on our own is being generous;  I'm genuinely happy when my friends tell me they're pregnant.  I had to get to a place that I was happy despite this infertility crap.  Scott and I figured out over a year ago that we were wasting our time together worrying and stressing about not being able to have babies.  It can take over your entire life and screw up a marriage if you let it! 
So here we are.  We're good :)  We're almost to the home study, we just have to get our background checks back and suffer through an hour long interview (independent of each other) with our case worker.   AND Scott is set to graduate in December!!!!  Hale-freakin-lujah.  We're excited by life; we're excited about our future as completely unknown as it is to us.  We've FINALLY figured out that Heavenly Father is in charge and we're good with that. 

2011 Reading

Since I'm not likely to read another book before the end of the year, I'm going to go ahead with my book year in review post. So if you're looking for anything to read, hopefully this list will help!

"Persuasion" by Jane Austen

Had never read this one before and decided to give it a whirl. It was definitely more mature than her other novels, but still very enjoyable with both lovable and hate-able characters.

"The Historian" by Elizabeth Kostova

I had read this one before a few years ago when it first came out but wanted to read it again. This one is definitely not for the faint of heart. It's full of history, almost to the point of it reading like a primary source. But the majority of the information has a purpose to the complex story. Just an FYI, this is for the die-hard, classic vampire fan. No shiny pretty boys here!

"Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell and Know by Alexandra Horowitz

I did and I didn't like this one. It was ultra complex; like reading a really boring text book. But it was cool to get inside my dogs head a little bit.

"Marley & Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog by John Grogan

For a dog owner, this book was hilarious, well written, touching, and thought provoking. However I think it would be the same for a non-dog owner. Note: Scott actually read this book. Seriously. He loved it. Scott is not a reader.

"Dracula" by Bram Stoker

After reading "The Historian" again, I had to go back and read one of my favorite books of all time. Such a classic read.

"Enchanted Inc #1-4 by Shanna Swendson

I really enjoyed the first two books of this series. Really fun take on modern magic and wizards. But the last 2 dragged a bit and it felt like the same old story.

"The Throne of Fire (Kane Chronicles #2) by Rick Riordan

2nd book in the series. These are fun kid/tween books if you're in to Egyptian stuff. They're also fun as they're told from kids perspective. I enjoy reading kids books as I don't have to worry about being offended by anything. I can just enjoy the story.

"Austenland" by Shannon Hale

Clever story about an a woman who goes to England for the ultimate Austen experience: costumes, food, language; takes you back in time as if you were in an Austen novel. Complete with dashing Mr. Darcy-ish strangers.

"Whiter Than Snow" by Sandra Dallas

My sister got me hooked on Sandra Dallas' novels. She has the ability to take you back in time to a simpler and harsher time. This one had several intertwining stories about a town high in the Colorado mountains struck by the tragedy of an avalanche. Themes of friendship, forgiveness and acceptance.

"Dracula's Guest" by Bram Stoker

Also referred to as the 'lost first chapter' of Dracula. Interesting. Creepy. Fun!

"Buster Midnight's Cafe" by Sandra Dallas

Fun story told by two old crows about their best friend who became a Hollywood star.

"The Confession" by John Grisham

Classic Grisham; however this one was really thought provoking. If you're pro death penalty, it'll make you think twice. If you're anti death penalty, it'll also make you think twice. I read reviews that said it was ultra political - and I suppose it was in a way. But Grisham manages to help you see both sides of the issue.

"Peter Pan" by JM Barrie

Hadn't ever read this one before. Really great; but a surprisingly violent for a kids book!

"Book of a Thousand Days" by Shannon Hale

Really great, interesting take on a fairy tale. Set in medieval Mongolia, it's a "Prince and the Pauper" meets "Cinderella" meet "Rapunzel" - but with Yaks and a not so charming Prince.

"1105 Yakima Street" by Debbie Macomber.

#11 in the Cedar Cove series. I want to live in Cedar Cove and be neighbors with all these wonderful people!

"Prayers for Sale" by Sandra Dallas

Another great story of love and friendship. I found I could relate to both of the main characters in small ways, and I learned a thing or two about quilting and what it means to accept people. You can find friends in unlikely places.

"A Dog's Purpose" by W. Bruce Cameron

Another great one for dog lovers. I laughed and I cried as I followed a dog as he keeps being reborn into a puppy and trying to figure out why. All he wants to do is love his "boy" and be near him.

"Ten Miles Past Normal" by Frances O'Roark Dowell

Silly teen novel. Not sure why it sounded interesting to me.

"The Bride's House" by Sandra Dallas

My favorite Dallas novel so far. This book follows the story of 2 women connected through a house in a mining town in Colorado. Very clever and sweet. Dallas loves to use the themes of love, friendship and forgiveness in clever ways.

"The Help" by Kathryn Stockett

I did and I didn't like this book. I enjoyed the story; the bravery of these women and what they went through. Delicious characters, some were lovable and SO hate-able. My complaint was the extreme over use of the Lord's name in vain. So sue me or call me over sensitive. Call me intolerant because it's such and important book. Well, it is a great story but there was no excuse of the language.

"The Lost Hero (Heroes of Olympus #1) by Rick Riordan

More Demi-Gods!! Woo hoo!! This book ties in to the Percy Jackson series, but different characters and different versions of the gods. So fun! Again, I love reading kids books.

"The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" by Barbara Robinson

I had watched the made-for-TV movie of this book a hundred times as a kid but never read the book. So. Classic.

"Jacob T. Marley" by R. William Bennett

I really enjoyed this book! I was a bit suspicious of it at first because I'm such a fan of Dickens and the "Christmas Carol", but I'm glad I read it. Bennett writes in a similar style and does Dickens justice with the back story of Marley. We find out a little bit of why Marley was Marley and why Scrooge was Scrooge.

"1225 Christmas Tree Lane" by Debbie Macomber

Last in the Cedar Cove series and I am so sad. I loved this series. Fun story to finish up on!

"Skipping Christmas" by John Grisham

I've made it a habit to read this one every year and it doesn't get old. I still laugh. And the longer I'm married to my accountant husband the more I laugh about Luther Krank's antics. Quick and fun read; Grisham's humor is so classic.

Public Service Announcement

Please beware of the false Santa. Though devilishly cute, the false Santa cannot be trusted and has a particular knack for looking completely innocent of any wrong doing. On Christmas Eve night please hide your cookies.

Thank you, and have a Merry Christmas!!!

I Am Thankful For...

As usual I'm late with my posting. Eh - y'all will get over it right? I like Thanksgiving. It's such a relaxing holiday. This year especially as it was just me and Scott and my parents. We had a really nice day...other than in the morning when Scott and I decided to tackle my parent's Christmas lights. Surprisingly no one fell down, there were very few cuss words and the majority of the lights worked. I'd say that's a success.

Anyway, since I neglected to do the daily thankfuls on Fb I thought I'd do a blog post. Sorry if you get bored. You're welcome to quit at anytime.

I'M THANKFUL FOR...

*My handsome, nerdy, understanding, patient, funny husband. I can't even explain how much he means to me and how much I love and adore him.

*My smart, funny, handsome, playful dog. I don't know what we'd do without him. He has brought us so much joy. We are obsessed with him.

*My parents. After Scott, my mom is my best friend. I know I'm too old to be so attached to my mother and need her, but who cares? I'm a Mamma's girl :) Oh and Gary - he's ok too. Just had more tests and is still cancer free. Woo hoo!

*Sue & Scott, Sean & Melissa, Scott & Cecily. They're a lot of fun to hang with and I learn a lot from them.

*Mark, Brian, Kylie, Brady, Cade, Olivia, Lincoln, Lleyten, Taft, Eden, Jaz & McCoy. They are adorable, funny and make me so happy.

*Mom, Dad, Missy, Mel, Ryan, Tom, Tony & Nate. My in-laws are the greatest. They are such wonderful and caring people.

*My friends. I love you and am grateful for you. You make me laugh, you go to lunch with me, and you don't make fun of me (to my face) when I do stupid stuff. So thanks!

*My Savior Jesus Christ. I've felt his love and I know he cares about little ole me.

*The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I haven't always been grateful for it or even cared about it. But I know where I'd be without it and No. Thanks. The Church isn't always popular; it's not always 'politically correct', it's not always easy. But it's real. And it's true. I'm so thankful for the gospel in my life.

*Our temple sealing. What a wonderful peace it brings to me. If I didn't know my family could be together forever, I don't think I could have survived losing two babies. I know they're waiting for us!

*Our jobs.

*Our apartment. Yeah - we had our heart set on a place of our own, but we have a cozy roof over our heads and a/c in the summer so we're good :)

*Scott is almost done with school. Can't. Wait.

*aspen trees and waterfalls. They make me happy.

*blankets to snuggle under.

*learning experiences. Trials suck. But I'm grateful I've been able to step back and learn from them.

*Zoloft. I'm just gonna throw that out there. Oh - and Priolsec. Yeah. Totally grateful for both of those.

*Hair color. Seriously. I'm already so unfortunate looking so to add gray hairs to that is just so not fair!

*Scott's financial geekiness. Sometimes I want to smack him; but the majority of the time I'm so grateful that he's so organized and analytical about finances. It's so fun to be 6 months ahead on a car payment and know that if something comes up we don't have to pay it. Also great to have a savings account.

*Brita water filters. I'm a pansy and have to have filtered water but I don't want to add to the bottled water problem.

I know there's more but I need to sleep now. Nighty-night everyone!

Never Again!

Dexter went to his forever home on Thursday. I can't believe how attached we were to him so quickly. I will NEVER AGAIN rescue and foster a dog. It's too painful. While we are happy to take him from a horrid situation and place him in a great one, it was so sad. He was a total sweetie. We are sad; however, I couldn't be happier with the family he went to. We'd gotten several calls about him and had appointments set for people to come meet him. But when this man called I had a really good feeling about him. (Sadly, I can't remember his name!) An older gentleman and his wife and a 17 year old daughter. They'd had Dachshunds in the past and knew just how to care for them. It was such a relief not to have to worry about explaining how to care for their backs or how to pick him up.

When this nice man came over, Dexter went right to him, tail wagging like crazy. It's like he knew and he was letting me know that "hey! I like this guy!" The man picked him up and Dexter gave him kiss after kiss and snuggled right up to him. I teared up because I was happy and sad at the same time. I couldn't be happier with his new family. And Chewy couldn't be happier that he doesn't have to share our attention with anyone else. He did like playing with Dexter, but boy was he bitter when Dexter curled up on Scott's lap! I mean, how dare he! ;)

So now I've done it. I rescued a sweet boy, nursed him back to health, and found him a forever home, and figured out that I don't have the nerves to be a doggy foster mom.

Dexter & stuff

Normally if Petsmart is doing and adoption outside their store, I hold my hands to the side of my face and look straight ahead so I can't see all the cute dogs that need homes. A couple of weeks ago I ran over to Petsmart by my work to grab some food for Chewy, and there he was. A little, tiny Dachshund in one of the cages. Against my better judgement I went over for a closer look and saw that he was emaciated and shaking, and my heart just broke. Again, against my better judgement I asked one of the women outside who was with the shelter that brought the dogs about the little doxie. She said he was an owner surrender and that he's refused to eat and been really depressed since being in the shelter. She dumped him because he liked to chase her cats. My heart broke a little more.

After buying Chewy's food I got in the car and called Scott...and now he's home with us. Our brains told us no, our hearts wouldn't hear of it. Turns out the little guy was not only way too skinny, but had an upper respiratory infection. But now he's neutered, over his infection, and slowly starting to fatten up. We adore him. Chewy adores him. My parents adore him. We wanted to name him Han Solo, but he already answered to Dexter and we didn't want to confuse him. But he's still the Han Solo to our Chewy :)

Our adoption benefit went SO amazingly well. We were completely blown away by the love and support we received. We thought we'd be lucky to get $300; we would have been ecstatic to get $500. We were totally overwhelmed when the tally reached a little over $1700!!! That's a little over half of what we needed for a birth mom so we're thrilled.

Next up in the process is meeting with our assigned case worker, where we smile and nod and try to exude confidence that we will be okay parents. Wish us luck!!